Now we all know that Tenacious D isn’t always exactly metal but I am a huge fan myself and insist that they are close enough to “Metal” (Also, it’s my blog and I will do whatever I want). So where do I start? The misspelt title? The giant cock as their album cover? Or do I mention their background, origins and back catalogue

Well, I think this could suffice for their “History”.
            “This is a song called the history of Tenacious D,
            And it’s not just a list of bullshit that we’ve done in the past
            It’s a chronicling of our rise, to power!
            We ride with kings on mighty steeds
            Across the devils plain
            We’ve walked with Jesus and his cross
            He did not die in vain, NO!
            We’ve run with wolves, we’ve climbed K2
            Even stopped a moving train
            We’ve travelled through space and time my friends
            To rock this house again, rock!”
Now, how many bands can honestly say they’ve done that? There’s only one that I know of. So, their first “Self-Titled” album was pretty awesome. Some tracks on that album that I listen to daily (“Fuck Her Gently” being one). Tenacious D then released “The Pick of Destiny” which was an album I enjoyed. Even more so when I get to sing along with the film and go from casually sitting on my sofa to power sliding across the room. “The Final Showdown” with the devil, “Kickapoo” and “Classico” are all mesmerising songs. Seriously, this third album has a lot of pressure. Jack Black and Kyle Gass had better serious been crafting some hardcore songs in the depths of hell.

“Rize of the Fenix” is the first track on this similarly named the album. It is a great song that switched pace and style a few times through the 5.57mins. It’s an epic track. Jack explains how much “POD” was criticised and that “The D was done”. We learn that the album name is actually a metaphor for Tenacious D’s return. From the ashes, they are reborn into a beautiful elegant creature (Like a Phoenix/Fenix). The song actually feels like they have risen from a gloomy opening to a fun, typical “D” song. It does, however, have a moment of doubt but then it returns to the happy reformed “D”. It’s brilliant! This song truly tells you the story of their return.

Where would a Tenacious D album be without some form of a song based on a man’s genitals? The second track is “Low Hangin’ Fruit” and this song is exactly that. It’s a fun song that is really addictive. I’m constantly singing along and rocking out all by myself. As you can imagine, there is quite a bit of fruit mentioned in this track and also Jack’s famous noise making (Random noises he makes that aren’t needed but make any song which has them that much more awesome). You’ll know what I mean when you hear it.

“Classical Teacher” isn’t a song. It is purely Jack and Kyle chatting about something ridiculous. It’s hilarious listening to it. I won’t tell you too much because you should hear it for yourself. Basically, Jack thinks Kyle needs guitar lessons and hires a Spanish guitar tutor. Enjoy!

I absolutely love the fourth track. “Senorita” is a great song about Jack defending a woman from ‘Larry” who is a dick. “He laughs and tells me to fucking fuck myself”. This is sung really well and it just makes me giggle every time. It has a really good story. I think it’s tragic for Jack’s character in the song but still keeps up the humour throughout. This one is always on my playlist.

“Deth Star”. This is obviously based on Star Wars but Tenacious D puts a fun twist on it. It starts off slow with Jack describing how the earth has problems “We have to stop the overpopulation”. They suggest that they build a “Deth Star” so they can build a new human race in the sky. There is plenty of flaws in their plan but still, it’s fun and me being picky cause I’m a Star Wars fan. Musically, it is catchy and very enjoyable. It has some fun lyrics and basically, it’s just enjoyable.

The next song is a tribute to all the Roadies. It’s in league with Motorhead’s “We are the (Road Crew)” “Roadie” is brilliant, very possibly one of my favourite Tenacious D songs ever. It starts off slow and beautiful with such a real feel to it. It obviously still Tenacious D so it does get typically fun but this song is phenomenal. The song even goes into the Roadie getting sucked off by a beautiful woman for a backstage pass. It’s hilarious but you get a sensation of pride for the roadie for all his hard work. “Roadie” has a music video so I suggest you find it because it really helps put the song into perspective.

We have another track based on a conversation with Kyle and Jack in the recording studio at 2am. “Flutes & Trombones” Don’t talk. Just listen.

“The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage” is my favourite song on “Rize of the Fenix”. Don’t laugh, but this song spoke to me. It’s about friendship and how two friends have differences and are reunited. I think of my friends when I hear this. I don’t know which perspective best suits me (Kyle or Jack), but it speaks to me. It’s a simple but touching piece of acoustic mastery. It tells the beautiful story from start to finish and you can’t help but feel sorry for Kage and proud of Jack for his actions later on. I fell in love with this song and it is now my most played song, ever! Sad, but I’m ok with it. Seriously, I can talk about Jack’s beautiful voice and lyrics all day long. Listen and feel.

“Throw Down” is such a mellow song. I imagine it based in an old saloon with Jack wearing a cowboy hat and gently strumming around telling his stories to people who pass by. The song itself is about famous characters from religion. “When Moses came down from the hill, holding the rules in his hand, looked all around, suddenly found, no one was listening now it’s time to throw down.” I like the chorus, even if it is just a repetition of “Throw Down”. “All the religions of the world today, we gotta leave them alone. We gotta use our fucking brains today, before we’re gone, before we’re gone”. Stab at religion?

“Rock Is Dead” is decent enough. It’s basically a list of things rock-related things that are now “dead”. It’s nothing special, unfortunately, catch music with a decent solo, just lyrics are all over the place and I found this song different, pointless and irrelevant from the rest of the album. 5 out of 10.

So, the next song is really odd but highly comical. “They Fucked Our Asses”. I’m not sure who fucked their asses, or why but Jack explains how. The track starts off really slow with a gradual build up. Then with Jack holding an awesome vocal length, there is some catchy and ‘Metal’ riffing involved which makes this song that moment and contrast that much more magnificent.

“To Be the Best”. This is a short montage song. The song you listen to before you take on Rocky or perhaps the Hulk. It’s quick paced and fun. The video is hilarious so I highly recommend you watch it!

We all love a good love song and Tenacious D is renowned for doing the best love songs. “Double Team” and “Fuck Her Gently” are songs I highly regard when it comes to women. “39” is another love song which I love. It has beautiful lyrics and a great, memorable acoustic riff. You really get the sense that Jack is singing from the heart. It’s about the love for his “39” year old partner. The song does go into some pretty private details of Jack’s personal life “When we text each other, I fiddle with my anus”. Too much information? There is a lot more information like this, but it describes how he is content with his woman “Boobies drooping but she’s good enough for me”. It’s beautiful, just take into consideration that perhaps this song isn’t about ‘every’ relationship. It’s an epic song that I truly love and am constantly singing. I can’t get enough of it! We need more love songs like this!

“Rize of the Fenix” is forever going to hold a special place in my heart. I can’t imagine my life without songs like “39” and “The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage”. They have meant something and spoke to me. This has kick-started my love for music as a whole and has made me appreciate what a fine art acoustic guitar is. Thank you Tenacious D. You truly are the “greatest band in the world”.